Rejection, it never fails to cut deep, does it? We are told time and again how rejection is a part of life and that ultimately, we are meant to grow and learn from it. Sure, deep down I know this is true, but it doesn’t make it suck any less when it happens. If you are like me, you find yourself wondering why after all the effort you put into something, it just didn’t add up. Or at least that’s how I felt.
Something I’m a firm believer in is having a strong relationship with your intuition, and to listen to it when you hear its little voice start to invade your head. We’re inclined to push that feeling aside at times, but the reason I believe in this so adamantly is that when I ignored it, I regretted it later. Thinking back to some of the situations that occurred in my personal life over the last 6 years, I know this was true. Deep down, the actions of others deeply hurt me and that voice started to whisper to me that something wasn’t right… maybe they don’t have my best interests at heart. At times, I wondered maybe I was being too harsh a judge, so I let that thought go at the time. Then the voice started getting louder. Then it was yelling. Why didn’t I just trust it the first time? And finally, I realized the importance of knowing when to let go.
You shouldn’t wait until your head is screaming at you to leave a situation before you actually do something about it. Nor should you allow your relationship with someone to become completely demeaning, toxic and unhealthy for you to leave it. When the voice starts talking to you: LISTEN! It really has your best intentions at heart, even when we allow ourselves to be clouded in reality by the opinions, actions and words of others.
At the end of the day, listen to you. Your intuition is on your side even when you ignore it. And if you do, you’ll keep learning the same lessons over and over again until you finally start to trust in it. That’s something I needed to rediscover about myself. I’m still learning to separate myself from time to time. It’s definitely a process.
Which brings me back to the first point I brought up: rejection. Doesn’t it hurt when all the effort you put into a relationship with someone feels like it was for nothing?
But what if it really wasn’t all for nothing? Mine sure wasn’t. I got three beautiful children. Any relationship that doesn’t work out, no matter platonic or romantic, isn’t a failure on your part. And believe it or not, it’s not a failure on the other person’s part, either. It is actually a redirection. Relationships can’t be replaced or replicated. The lessons you learn from the ones that end can be brought with you into new ones. That is, if you’re open to learning and self-reflection. I have friends and people in my life that I cherish. I like to think Ive taken something from each relationship in my life that has ended. I realize the closest people in my life make my life complete – at least for now.
I’ve always said, it takes two to tango, so I need to recognize my faults and accept responsibility for where I went wrong too. My biggest disservice to myself? Not listening to my intuition for many years. If something seems off, or something makes you uncomfortable and you can’t quite figure out why, your feelings are ALWAYS valid. Someone told me years ago, “if something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t… you just know.” Don’t let anyone talk you into believing otherwise, either. I made that mistake for years. But that is for another discussion.
So now I move forward with more knowledge and faith in myself that if my inner voice is speaking to me that something may not be right for me: I listen. I have only myself to blame for that. On the bright side is (and there always is one) I know now when I have to let go. I will walk away from a situation and will be better and more true to myself the next time around.
That certainly doesn’t seem like any sort of failure to me!